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Наступающих моджахедов ведёт в бой старик Тимаков – с «калашниковым» в руках и зелёной повязкой на лбу, где написано арабской вязью «Медвед акбар». За его спиной маячат укуренные гашишем физиономии великих писателей земли русской – С.Минаев, Э.Багиров и С.Богов; они орут что-то нечленораздельное и пытаются запиндюрить из подствольников в Виталика, но трясущиеся руки раз за разом подводят. Другие два великих писателя земли русской – Быков и Кашин – пытаются обойти позицию соответственно справа и слева, используя для маскировки рельеф местности, но одного выдают габариты, а другого – висящий на его спине и подхихикивающий Ольшанский. Из какой-то пещеры периодически появляется Шевяков с набором ручных гранат, начинённых жидким калом, и кидается ими в самую гущу битвы, умудряясь попадать и по обороняющимся, и по наступающим с равной поражающей силой.
Где-то вдалеке маячат носилки, на которых несут истекающего кровью Павловского — его грузят в вертолёт, который отлетает в Америку. У пилота вертолёта — грустное лицо Бори Межуева; по тому, как он держит штурвал, становится ясно, что в кресло пилота он сегодня сел первый раз в жизни. Несшие носилки мистер Паркер и мистер Монблан, которым места в вертолёте не хватило, утирают слёзы платочком и готовятся встретить неизбежное. Монблан в кашне и с трубкой, Паркер в треухе, с резиновой курицей и чёрным плакатом «реальная помним политика». В кустах подле вертолёта – Вова Голышев с контрабандным «Стингером» системы Посошкова, тщетно пытающийся задействовать для починки сломавшегося спускового механизма энергию «ци».
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