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Девятая рота

Это такая информационная «9-я рота».

Виталий Иванов и Паша Данилин явно ведут себя как смертники, оставшиеся прикрывать отход: они окопались, обложились разными орудиями и лупят из них вкруговую, в белый свет как в копеечку, перемежая возгласы «Слава Газпрому» с матюками и периодически отхлёбывая спиртяру из фляжек. Слава Данилов подносит патроны; на нём значок «Я – Виталий Иванов», стилизованный под «Я – Грузин». Юра Гиренко делает то же самое, правда, избегая встречаться с Ивановым взглядами и всё время бормоча: “растиньяк, растиньяк…” Остальные угрюмо бредут с серыми лицами по направлению, обозначенному указателем с надписью «суверенная демократия», прячась от летающих туда и сюда снарядов. В группе выделяется Бударагин, который регулярно теряет очки и останавливается, чтобы их подобрать; тогда идущий за ним Мартынов даёт ему пинка, и движение возобновляется.

Наступающих моджахедов ведёт в бой старик Тимаков – с «калашниковым» в руках и зелёной повязкой на лбу, где написано арабской вязью «Медвед акбар». За его спиной маячат укуренные гашишем физиономии великих писателей земли русской – С.Минаев, Э.Багиров и С.Богов; они орут что-то нечленораздельное и пытаются запиндюрить из подствольников в Виталика, но трясущиеся руки раз за разом подводят. Другие два великих писателя земли русской – Быков и Кашин – пытаются обойти позицию соответственно справа и слева, используя для маскировки рельеф местности, но одного выдают габариты, а другого – висящий на его спине и подхихикивающий Ольшанский. Из какой-то пещеры периодически появляется Шевяков с набором ручных гранат, начинённых жидким калом, и кидается ими в самую гущу битвы, умудряясь попадать и по обороняющимся, и по наступающим с равной поражающей силой.

Где-то вдалеке маячат носилки, на которых несут истекающего кровью Павловского — его грузят в вертолёт, который отлетает в Америку. У пилота вертолёта — грустное лицо Бори Межуева; по тому, как он держит штурвал, становится ясно, что в кресло пилота он сегодня сел первый раз в жизни. Несшие носилки мистер Паркер и мистер Монблан, которым места в вертолёте не хватило, утирают слёзы платочком и готовятся встретить неизбежное. Монблан в кашне и с трубкой, Паркер в треухе, с резиновой курицей и чёрным плакатом «реальная помним политика». В кустах подле вертолёта – Вова Голышев с контрабандным «Стингером» системы Посошкова, тщетно пытающийся задействовать для починки сломавшегося спускового механизма энергию «ци».

Чадаев лежит трупом на поле боя, в позе разнузданно-аморального реакционера; из груди торчит кинжал с эмблемой Фонда эффективной политики. Ещё вокруг там и сям разбросаны маленькие трупики в красных куртках движения «Наши». Из под самой большой кучки таких трупиков доносятся слабые стоны Якеменко: «я живой… кто-нибудь… я живой…»

А где-то высоко в небе в дыму сражения вдруг проступает чьё-то лицо, и это лицо Медведева. Оно смотрит на идущую внизу битву большими грустными глазами, и вдруг начинает икать. «И… нвестиции»… «И… нновации»… «И… нфраструктура»… «И… нституты»…
Чадаев

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